Why My Wife Is the Most Selfless Person I Know

My wife, Marcia, is the most selfless person I know. And I don’t say that lightly.

One of the core convictions behind Called to Marriage is this:

Scripture makes this clear from the beginning. Marriage is not just a social construct we invented to meet emotional needs. To the Christian, it is a covenant God designed to reflect His own nature, a love that gives, serves, and lays itself down.

Our society fundamentally undervalues the role of the wife and mother because it does not know how to measure sacrificial love. We live in a world that only knows how to measure visibility, productivity, and personal advancement. But I have seen firsthand what real sacrifice looks like. Not the kind that earns applause, but the kind that sustains life.

I have watched Marcie give birth to our two boys at home. Intentionally. These were not accidents or emergencies. They were choices we consciously made together, rooted in faith, trust, and conviction. I saw her endure pain with strength and calm that still humbles me.

After birth came the long nights. The breastfeeding that demands your body at all hours. The emotional and physical availability that never shuts off. The way she instinctively tends to our children’s needs with patience that does not draw attention to itself.

She runs the home. She facilitates their education. She shapes the emotional and spiritual environment they are growing up in. She pours herself out daily in ways that do not get documented, archived, or celebrated.

Now, let me be clear. I do my part. I am deeply involved in raising our kids. I don’t subscribe to the idea that fathers are passive participants. We are one. We make decisions together. We carry burdens together.

And yet, even with that oneness, there is a weight she carries that is uniquely hers.

I work hard. I provide. I lead where I’m called to lead.
But I won’t pretend my job is harder.

My work has structure. Boundaries. Defined outcomes. There are breaks, weekends, and moments where I can mentally disengage. Motherhood does not offer that luxury.

Her labor is constant. Invisible. Relentless.

What she does may never show up on a résumé. It will never earn her promotions or professional titles. And in a culture obsessed with career progression, that kind of work is often dismissed as wasted potential.

That reveals more about our culture than it does about motherhood.

Some people call this season a luxury. As if staying home with children is indulgent. As if it is an escape from responsibility rather than a confrontation with it.

Let me say this plainly: it is not a luxury.

A luxury serves the self. Making a home serves others.

Motherhood requires daily death to self. It demands the surrender of autonomy, recognition, and often personal ambition. That is not ease. That is offering.

Marriage was always meant to look like this. Mutual self-giving. Mutual sacrifice. Different roles, same posture. The luxury narrative cheapens what Scripture treats as sacred.

Marcie is gifted. Brilliant. Capable. She could succeed in any professional environment she chose.

And yet she chose to give these years to me and our sons.

Not her leftover years. Not the years after she established herself. Her best years. The years when she has the most energy, creativity, and potential earning power.

This is where Called to Marriage becomes deeply countercultural. We believe marriage and family are not obstacles to purpose. They are often the primary expression of it.

Her work is holy because it is offered to God through love of neighbor, beginning with the ones He entrusted to us. Of all the opportunities one could ever have to love and disciple, family or specifically raising children is perhaps the best. Marcie has chosen to love her most immediate neighbor—family, first.

What my wife is doing right now will echo far beyond our home.
She is shaping future men. Teaching them how to love, how to lead, how to serve, how to honor God. This is legacy work.

The world tracks success in metrics and milestones. But Scripture measures fruit.

When our sons are grown, they won’t remember her productivity. They’ll remember her presence. That she was there. That she prayed with them. That she chose them, again and again.

To every mother who has made this choice, whether temporarily or for a season, whether seen or unseen: your work matters.

It is seen by God.
It is felt by your children.
And it is deeply valued by husbands who understand that their own ability to lead, provide, and serve rests on the foundation you are laying. Concerning the Proverbs 31 woman, the Bible says:

You are not wasting your potential. You are investing it where it counts most.

At 34 years old, I feel wealthy in the truest sense.

Not because of income or status, but because of the family God has entrusted to me.

This is the vision behind Called to Marriage. We are not here to build platforms. We are here to build homes. We believe strong marriages form strong families, and strong families shape strong communities.

If this vision resonates with you, if you are longing for a deeper, more intentional approach to marriage that honors God and prioritizes covenant over convenience, we’ve created a community for exactly that.

Not a highlight reel.
Not another social media feed.
But a place to grow, learn, and walk this calling together.

If you feel drawn to that, you’re welcome to join us.

See your wives.

Honor them in the quiet moments, not just the public ones. Support their sacrifice. Speak gratitude often. Lead with humility.

Because the truth is simple.
Without them, everything else falls apart.

So honor them.
Celebrate them.
Thank them.

Every day.

Thank you, my love. For choosing covenant over applause. For offering your best to our family. You are seen. You are cherished. And you are walking faithfully in the calling God placed on your life. I love you!