Marriage moves in seasons.
Not stages. Not milestones. Seasons.
Seasons are not earned or skipped. They arrive, linger, and pass in ways that are often outside our control. Many couples suffer unnecessarily because they fail to recognize the season they are in, or because they abandon their own field while staring at someone else’s harvest.
It often begins innocently.
You look around and notice another couple flourishing. Their laughter seems easy. Their connection looks natural. Their marriage appears full. And without realizing it, comparison begins to interpret the story.
You assume they must be doing something right that you are doing wrong. You assume your marriage is behind. You assume your season has stalled. Assumption takes over reality and truth. The truth is, you don’t really know how that couple you’re looking at are really doing. Sure, you can draw inspiration from others, but your reality and theirs are completely different.
Faithfulness is not measured by visibility.
For we walk by faith, not by sight.
Harvest is visible. Planting is not. Pruning rarely is. Root-building never is. And yet, roots determine everything.
When Comparison Interrupts Faithfulness
The danger of comparison is not envy alone. It is distraction.
When you fixate on someone else’s field, you begin to neglect your own. Slowly, subtly, almost without noticing, attention shifts in your own field.
You water less.
You prune less carefully.
You tolerate weeds longer than you should.
Not because you stopped believing in marriage, but because you stopped believing in this marriage.
This is where discouragement sets in. Not because the field is dead, but because it is unattended.
The Word of God offers a sobering warning here:
Whoever watches the wind will not plant; whoever looks at the clouds will not reap.
Seasons Do Not Apologize for Their Timing
Some couples are planting years into marriage. Others are harvesting early. Some have endured droughts they never expected. Others are still breaking soil that was compacted long before vows were exchanged.
Length of marriage does not determine season. History, wounds, obedience, repentance, grace, and timing all play a role.
Paul reminds us:
I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth.
Growth is God’s responsibility. Faithfulness is ours.
Learning Without Abandoning Your Assignment
There is wisdom in observing healthy marriages. Scripture encourages learning from the righteous. But learning becomes harmful when it causes us to abandon our assignment.
You are not meant to reproduce another couple’s field. You are called to steward your own.
“But let each one examine his own work, and then he will have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another”
Faithfulness does not ask, “Why aren’t we there yet?”
Faithfulness asks, “What does this season require of us now?”
Our Vision of Seasons
At Called to Marriage, we believe marriage is formative before it is fruitful. God often works deeply before He works visibly.
Some seasons exist to teach patience.
Some exist to confront pride.
Some exist to build endurance.
Some exist to heal what was broken long ago.
None are accidental. None are wasted.
That includes your marriage.
Stay With Your Field
Here is the quiet call of wisdom:
Stay with your field.
Tend it honestly.
Prune it humbly.
Water it faithfully.
Trust God with the growth.
Do not despise the season you are in. Do not rush the work that is being done beneath the surface.
Harvest always comes in time. But only for those who remained when it was easier to look elsewhere.
Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy.
Your season is not behind.
Your marriage is not failing.
Your faithfulness is not unseen.
Stay. Tend. Trust.
God is at work.