Pause, and Count What You Already Have

If you're married, you need to hear this.

Sometimes you just have to pause. Stop running. Stop chasing. Stop striving for a moment. And take a careful look at the things God has blessed you with.

I know you want other things. You're dreaming about other things. You have goals, plans, visions for what's next. But pause for a second.

Look at your home. Look at your spouse. Look at your kids, if you have any. Maybe your business, your job, whatever you're doing. Just pause for a second and pay attention to what God has blessed you with.

And show some gratitude to God. Maybe even show some gratitude to your spouse for sticking with you.

Because we are always in a race. We are always chasing after something. Always going after the things we don't have. And sometimes, in that constant pursuit, we lose hold of the things we actually have.

Let me share something I do regularly that has profoundly shaped how I view my life and marriage.

I often stand in the mirror and take inventory. Not of what I lack, but of what I've been given.

I'm 34 years old. I have a wonderful, wise, and supportive wife. Two lovely sons, with another child on the way. I have a stable job. I'm able to provide for my family. At least our needs are met.

And while I work hard to grow in all spheres; spiritually, in my career, in my leadership—it's simply clear. And I say this out loud to myself:

"Thomas, the Lord has dealt graciously with you."

I often ponder: how many 34-year-olds are this wealthy? Not merely in terms of money, but in the things that actually matter. A strong marriage. Healthy children. Meaningful work. Peace in my home.

And then I remind my soul to be humble and not fret, for I'm favored in many ways. As a young man, the Lord has blessed me.

I know most married couples would appreciate a marriage like the one my wife and I have. I don't say that arrogantly. I say it with trembling gratitude, knowing I don't deserve any of it.

I truly believe life is seasonal. And I have learned to value the season I'm in.

Even if there's a visible lack I see now, I also recognize that all fingers are not the same height, yet each one is vital and perfect for one task or more.

What I mean is this: comparison is a thief. It will rob you of joy, gratitude, and contentment faster than almost anything else.

You might look at someone else's marriage and think they have it all together. You might see their house, their car, their Instagram highlights, and feel like you're falling behind.

But all fingers are not the same height. We're each in different seasons, with different callings, different assignments. And the moment you despise your season because it doesn't look like someone else's, you forfeit the grace God has given you for this exact moment.

Paul learned contentment. It didn't come naturally. It was a discipline. A practice. A choice.

And that's what pausing to count your blessings really is. It's a choice to see what God has already done instead of fixating on what He hasn't done yet or rather, what you don’t have yet that you want.

Here's what happens when we never pause.

We become people who are perpetually dissatisfied. Always looking ahead. Always reaching for the next thing. The next milestone. The next level.

And there's nothing wrong with ambition. There's nothing wrong with wanting to grow, to build, to improve.

But when ambition becomes an insatiable hunger that blinds you to the blessings in your hand right now, it becomes destructive.

You start to resent your spouse because they're not keeping up with your pace.

You start to neglect your children because they feel like interruptions to your goals.

You start to treat your marriage like a stepping stone to something greater instead of a sacred covenant worth celebrating.

And before you know it, you've gained the whole world and lost your soul. Or worse, you've gained nothing and lost everything that actually mattered.

Here's something most people don't realize: gratitude is a form of spiritual warfare.

When you pause to thank God for what He's given you, you're declaring that He is good. That He is faithful. That He has not forgotten you.

And the enemy hates that.

He wants you consumed with what you don't have. He wants you bitter about what you lack. He wants you envious of what others possess.

Because a heart full of gratitude is a heart the enemy cannot easily corrupt.

Notice it doesn't say "give thanks for everything." It says "in everything." There's a difference.

You don't have to be thankful for hardship, pain, or loss. But you can be thankful in the midst of it, knowing that God is still good, still present, still working.

And when you cultivate that posture of gratitude, it transforms how you see your spouse, your marriage, your life.

Here's the truth I have to remind myself of constantly:

I don't deserve anything I'm stewarding now.

I'm not better than other young men my age who don't boast a quarter of what has been entrusted to me. I haven't worked harder. I'm not more righteous. I haven't earned this.

It's grace. Pure, unmerited, undeserved grace.

When you recognize that everything you have is a gift, not a right, it changes how you hold it.

You stop taking your spouse for granted.

You stop complaining about what your marriage lacks and start celebrating what it has.

You stop resenting the season you're in and start stewarding it with faithfulness.

Because you understand: this is not about what you deserve. This is about what God, in His kindness, has entrusted to you.

There's an old hymn by Johnson Oatman that says, "Count your blessings, name them one by one."

That's not just a nice sentiment. It's a spiritual discipline.

When was the last time you actually sat down and numbered the ways God has been good to you?

When was the last time you looked at your spouse and listed, out loud or in writing, the specific ways they bless your life?

When was the last time you paused to acknowledge that your marriage, imperfect as it is, is still a gift?

We forget. We're forgetful creatures. That's why the Bible constantly calls us to remember, to recount, to rehearse God's faithfulness.

So here's what I'm challenging you to do:

Pause. Right now, or sometime today. Stand in front of a mirror if that helps. And take inventory.

Not of what you lack. Not of what you wish you had. But of what you've been given.

Name it. Number it. Say it out loud.

"God, You gave me a spouse who loves me."
"God, You gave me children who are healthy."
"God, You gave me a job that provides for my family."
"God, You gave me a home where we can gather."
"God, You've dealt graciously with me."

And then say thank you. Not as a religious formality, but as an honest acknowledgment of grace.

And don't stop with God. Turn to your spouse.

Thank them. Not just for the big things, but for the small, often invisible acts of faithfulness.

Thank them for sticking with you through hard seasons.

Thank them for loving you even when you're difficult to love.

Thank them for choosing you, day after day, year after year.

Gratitude expressed toward your spouse is one of the most powerful ways to strengthen your marriage. It shifts the atmosphere. It softens the heart. It reminds both of you that you're on the same team. And indeed, you’re one flesh.

Here's the warning I want to leave you with:
Don't lose what you have while chasing what you don't.

Don't sacrifice your marriage on the altar of ambition.

Don't neglect your children in pursuit of success.

Don't forfeit the gift of today for the promise of tomorrow.

Because one day, if you're not careful, you'll arrive at the future you've been chasing and realize you left the most important things behind.

And no amount of success, no achievement, no accolade will be worth it.

You have a companion. A partner. A spouse who is walking this journey with you.

Don't take that for granted.

Pause. Look at them. Thank God for them. And commit to stewarding this season, this marriage, this family with the gratitude and faithfulness it deserves.

If this message stirred something in you, take action today.

Pause. Count your blessings. Thank God. Thank your spouse.

And if you're longing to build a marriage rooted in gratitude, faithfulness, and stewardship, we invite you to join the Called Community. We walk alongside singles and couples who want to honor God in their lives and marriages and live with intentionality in every season.

Share this with someone who needs the reminder. And most importantly, don't let another day pass without acknowledging the grace already at work in your life.

The Lord has dealt graciously with you.

Say it. Believe it. Live it. Shalom!